Leaving
by hannahjap
Summary: Bleh, set one week after that bit at the beginning of episode 27. Near and Mello. NearxMello...? Whatever. Oneshot.


There he was, less than four feet away. He could touch him with just a few steps forward if he wanted to; not that he did. Oh no, this visit was purely to get a last look. By morning he'd be gone for good. Maybe they'd never see each other again. Hopefully… and yet, there was definitely something to be missed here. It was odd; when they were in separate rooms, he had no desire to see the boy ever again, but now, now that he was so close again, he was tempted to stay. Not tempted enough to do it, but it was irritating all the same. He wanted to go over there, shake him awake and scream at him. Or just say goodbye. Neither was possible and both were avoidable. His lip curled in a self-satisfied smile, and he turned back towards the open doorway through which he had entered.

"Where are you going..?" The voice was soft, muted, calm. It came from across the room. Mello froze, wondering if perhaps he had somehow overlooked someone else besides the sleeping figure, but he knew there was no-one else in the room. Near was awake. He turned his head sharply, his expression staying flatline. Near had rolled over to face him, his expression equally emotionless.

"I'm leaving," he answered matter-of-factly. Obviously. Why had he bothered to ask? It had been asked as if there was some reason to stay, when there wasn't. Near frowned slightly.

"I thought you left last week. Why have you come back just to leave again..?" Another open ended and highly irritating question. Mello got the impression that Near was stalling; as if he had more important questions saved up for later. He scowled, turning his whole body now to face the other boy. There was still a good four foot between them, but neither spoke much above a murmur.

"I wanted a last look. I didn't know you were awake." This answer still did not seem to satisfy Near, who curled his hair around one finger as he always did when pondering a point. Mello wished he had not woken up, or at least that he would be done with questions soon so that he could leave. For good.

"You've been standing there for twenty minutes, at least." Near said coolly, having sat on that little piece of information for a while. Mello's eyes narrowed. So he had been awake all along, well, that was annoying. He had obviously been waiting for Mello to either approach or leave, and when he had made his move to the door; he had decided to catch him out. He must be genuinely interested in why he had returned. Mello found he took a step forward without meaning to.

"If you knew I was here, why didn't you say anything..?" He knew the answer. Near had been waiting for him to make the first move, whatever that turned out to be. Near shrugged.

"I wanted to see what you'd do. But it seems you just came back to watch me sleep." He couldn't quite resist letting a hint of a smile brush his lips, the upper hand favouring him for the moment. Mello got the sudden urge to hit him, but knew it wouldn't do any good. After all, he had been watching him sleep, even if it wasn't exactly how Near had phrased it. He didn't have a response. There was a silence which bore witness to a staring contest in the dark; neither wanted to look away from the other, for fear of surrendering their position. Eventually it was Near who spoke again, moving himself into a sitting position as he did so. "Come here, Mello." Mello's eyes widened at the request, although really it was a command. For a second, he lost his focus, wondering instead why he had been asked to move from his defensive stand so close to the door. But then, he realised he had answered his own question. Near just wanted to be in control again. Still, he found himself doing what he was told and before he knew it he was perched on the end of the bed, legs facing away from Near, eye contact restored. Near smiled, but not in any way warmly.

"I didn't want to have to talk to you, that's why I came at night," Mello muttered, knowing that the confession made him look pathetic and gutless. Near didn't seem to agree, in fact he seemed to understand as he nodded lightly, turning to stare blankly at the still open door. That confused Mello, who had assumed Near was trying to make him look weak before parting ways. There could surely be no other motivation. Yet apparently, there was. After a few seconds of staring away, Near turned his head back towards Mello.

"I wish you hadn't, I would have liked to have talked to you." Mello scoffed, although he didn't really like what was suggested. He blinked once, trying to avoid the stare he was getting without completely turning away.

"Oh..? Well, we are talking…" Near sighed, obviously aggravated that Mello had chosen to point out the obvious rather than offering a real response. He dropped his gaze to the floor, at which point Mello found he could look at him again.

"Are you sure you aren't going to stay..? We can still work togeth-"

"No. Absolutely not, sorry." Mello didn't give him any time to try and convince him. He had already considered it. If he did stay and work with Near, then he knew he'd become second to the other's calculating and puzzle-solving. He might even grow useless. No, it would be far, far better for both of them if he was given freedom to work alone, or at least, with others at his beck and call. He could never work _with_ Near, because then he'd be working _for_ Near. That would never work out. Near understood. He had understood when he'd asked, but for some reason had still hoped there was a chance to change Mello's mind. Apparently not.

"Then you can at least say goodbye," Near muttered, deflated. Mello felt a rush of fear. This is why he had not wanted to come when Near was awake. Truly, he had been angry when he'd walked out at first, which is why he'd returned a week later. He wanted to be able to remember the boy without any particular hatred, but still with the knowledge that an alliance was impossible. He didn't want to feel any sympathy for Near; after all, he wasn't doing anything wrong. Not really. Even if he was the only person who really talked to him. He had to put his own needs first right now.

"Goodbye. But I might see you again, you never know…" Mello pressed his hands into the bed, to lift himself up, but Near quickly covered the one nearest him with his own. Mello stared at him, horrified. This could not end well. Near didn't say anything, but he was focusing that invasive stare right at him. It was like being torn apart right now, and he had to look at his feet to stop from wincing. Near did not remove his hand.

"Perhaps." Near paused. "But in case we don't… you could just look at me for the last time. I hate it when you avoid me like that." Mello felt inclined to point out that he couldn't very well avoid him right now, not with the soft pressing on his hand which may as well have been a shackle. But he didn't. He took a breath, and he looked into the dull, grey eyes for what he suddenly hoped was the last time. They were sad, he noticed. Perhaps he should have guessed they would be… One last little diversionary tactic on Near's part. It wouldn't work; he wouldn't let it.

"I have to go now," Mello stuttered. Before he could help himself, he leaned across and rubbed his lips against Nears, as if the gesture was what gave him enough strength to tear the hand off his own. As soon as he was free, he marched to the doorway. He paused momentarily. "Goodbye," he called back, as an afterthought. Then he was gone.


End file.
